Around the world – WorkTales

March 24, 2022March 13, 2022

I’ve won, I’ve one

I was driving my son home from Judo and I noticed that he was reading some of the signs on the shops. One of the things he read was “lotto”, and I wasn’t sure if he knew exactly what the lottery was so I asked him if he knew what it meant. I was a bit surprised that he did have some knowledge of the lottery but more surprised on what this knowledge was.

Oma says that some people have won their drivers license from the lottery.

I also explained the actual meaning of lottery but it seems that he knew that well.

February 14, 2022December 25, 2021

I already did that

It is a different world from when I grew up. Back in the day, I simply walked 1/3 of a mile to school and nobody gave it another thought. Today, it may or may not be less safe for small children but the visibility of predators in the world is certainly much higher.

Thus my son, who does walk from mom’s work to his school is actually equipped with a telephone so if he gets into any difficulties he can contact us – plus he is supposed to call us when he gets to school each day. Well, no system is perfect and so when he tried to inform mom that he was at school, she was unable to pick up the phone in time. We do have a backup plan for this situation which is that he should then proceed to call is father or even failing that his aunt or grandmother. It worked!

I got a telephone call from a somewhat annoyed little boy informing me that he tried to call mom but she didn’t pick up. He asked me to call her so she is informed that his is at school. I knew where he was so I thought I had time enough for a cup of coffee. After brewing a cup, I called my wife to hear that she returned his call. She received an earful from him.

My son said “I don’t want to talk with you, I already called papa” and then the two of them hung up. By the time that I called my wife she had already been put into her place by an eight year old. She did take it pretty well all things considered.

This was not the only time that my boy tried to call mom but also his dad and his aunt. In the end, he did reach his grandmother but by then he had left a message on everyone’s phone.

Everyone, each in turn then proceeded to call “mama” with the news that her son was safe at school. Sure her work day had already gotten off to to rocky start but the good news is that our son did follow the plan.

February 10, 2022December 25, 2021

The television star

Some television shows have more educational content and thus may have either smaller or longer documentaries on various topics. The German state of Hessen has their own television channel which has shows as well as mini-documentaries on topics from purchasing flowers to underage drinking.

My wife works in a hospital that is known for it’s studies of alcohol and underage drinkers. It shouldn’t have been too much of a surprise when the television station contacted the hospital about a documentary. They wanted to do a brief on camera interview with a doctor describing the alcohol and its affects on youth. My wife picked the short straw and was rewarded with at least 15 minutes of fame.

My children wanted to see mommy on television so both of the boys, aged six and eight, watched a six minute documentary briefly describing the problem. They were able to take one message away from the show and that was drinking was bad it would kill your brain cells. The message is right but the timing wasn’t so good. Only a week after this show aired a few of her friends come over and have a bit of a girls night. Lots of stories were exchanged, lots of junk food was eaten and generally they all had a good time.

The next morning the day started a bit slower than normal for the adults but not for the boys. When my wife did get up, she was confronted by my youngest as there were two empty wine bottles on the kitchen table.

              “Mama you promised not don't drink too much”

February 3, 2022December 25, 2021

We must have order

The unwritten rule in Germany is Ordnung muss sein, which roughly translates to Order is imperative. I guess they teach this rule at a pretty early age in Germany based on my trip to the post office.

I was standing in a line that seemed like it would never move. As luck had it, the process “improved” when the parent of a couple of small children got to the front of the line. The children were free to be themselves. There wasn’t that much to see or do but at the post office there was a series of metal each larger than the last.

One little boy discovered that he could hit it and it would make wonderful banging noises and vibrate slowly into silence. The prospect of standing there listening to this for five to twenty minutes seemed like a punishment until an unexpected little savior showed up – his smaller sister.

She didn’t like all the noise that her brother was making so every time he started making noise she would stop it in its tracks. One making noise wasn’t so much fun but watching the two of them interact wasn’t too bad, especially as the little one was trying to keep the noise level down.

December 27, 2021November 28, 2021

Children on car selection

We were going to pickup my oldest at a birthday party and as I was not familiar with the location so I was using a navigation system. We had just missed our turn and were on a one way street. I may have made a remark or two but eventually we got to our destination.

I wish I could say that this was an isolated event, but to be honest it was not. It was actually the fourth occurrence in the last few weeks. On our way back home, a small voice spoke out.

David We cannot use this car any more
Me Why not?
David It keeps bringing us to the wrong places
Me Do I have to buy a new car?
David No, but we cannot use this one.

Somehow this train of thought gets broken, but then another small voice breaks out.

Timothy I know why the car keeps bringing us to the wrong places.
Timothy This car comes from Japan but we live in Germany.

December 13, 2021November 28, 2021

More short takes

Snow day

When I was growing up in Minnesota we had winter, sometimes we had too much of it. If we received too much snow there would be a snow day and school was closed. Over a cup of coffee we were comparing winter stories when I found out there is something that trumps a snow day, a coal week. It seems that during the winters in Slovakia sometimes there would be problems in procuring the necessary heating coal due to temporary budget problems.

In those cases the school would be closed for a few days or a week.

The truth will set you free

You left the meeting early, why?
It was boring.
What did you do then?
Read some Android documentation.

Non-monetary opportunity costs

For instance, an individual could choose not to ask a girl out on a date, in an attempt to make her more interested (“playing hard to get”), but the opportunity cost could be that they get ignored – which could result in other opportunities being lost.
From wikipedia

December 9, 2021November 28, 2021

Short takes

Where do you think you are

A couple of guys went into a somewhat grubby looking bar in the eastern Europe looking for something to drink.

Patron: Hmm, I would like to have wine.
Patron: Perhaps a nice Chardonnay
Waiter: Red or White. You have to realize just where %&$# you are.

Rules of Communism

Don’t say anything
If you do say anything don’t write it down
If write it down don’t sign it
If you sign it don’t be surprised

Wonders of Communism

Everybody had a job but nobody did anything
You could never buy anything but everybody had everything
Everybody has been stealing but nothing was ever missing

A Russian joke

Somebody comes and knocks on the door and a housewife answers. Do you need any wood? She looks over at the pile of wood and says no. The next day when she wakes up and opens the door all of the wood is gone.

December 6, 2021November 28, 2021

Its just a training exercise

If you can imagine the scene, a bunch of youths are standing around with a hatchet daring each other to do some damage to that cherry tree. Finally George cuts it down, perhaps gets a few points with his peers, but as he is getting ready to tell his father the truth he must be thinking what a bad idea that was.

That story is possible, but it is also possible that when the biography of George Washington was written after his death there were a few things that were added for flavor. I can only imagine that in some police in the bomb squad were sitting around thinking that exact same thought – wow what a bad idea that was. You would need to go back a couple of days to get to the beginning of the story.

The police wanted to test out their security so they planted some plastic explosives in some suitcases to see if the bomb dog could find the explosives. Planted explosives doesn’t mean that it was a coordinated event where the passenger knew what was happening but rather that the authorities secretly placed actual plastic explosives into his suitcase.

Why place the explosives into a suitcase that is arriving when we can put it into one that would actually be departing. It is not completely clear if the dog failed find all of the explosives, they were not all removed or if the police simply lost them.

What would be the worst possible place for that explosive to show up in? If you were thinking somebody headed for Dublin, Ireland you would be correct. You would have thought that the police would have had one of their officers with the best grasp of the English language contact with Ireland immediately.

It actually took about three days, a bomb squad cordoning off of two blocks of the city, and locking up an innocent man for a few hours.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slovak_Police_training_explosives_incident

December 2, 2021November 28, 2021

FIFA World cup soccar

In 2006 Frankfurt, Germany was one of the cities hosting the world cup. Ghana had made it to the world final and where competing for the quarter finals tonight. This was actually the first time that an African country had made it this far. They gave it their all, but unfortunately they were playing against Brazil, and it just was not enough.

However, they did have at least one of biggest fans there to cheer them on. The reason I know this is because this guy must have been cheering, supporting his team to the point he was found “sleeping it off” sometime later. Germany was a good host country and to prove it they brought this individual to the hospital to make sure that everything was ok.

Well, initially there was not a lot known about the “sleeper” as he was out cold. Early on they decided perhaps he was a Ghana visitor. This was because periodically he would sit up in his bed and yell “Ghana” and the Ghana vs Brazil game was today.

During rounds the physicians were discussing this case when one of the doctors mentioned he thought the patient came from Ghana. This of course triggered him to sit up and yell Ghana. As a matter of fact, simply saying Ghana in a quiet room was enough to trigger the patient.

November 29, 2021November 28, 2021

No alcohol, only wine and beer

Ethanol or grain alcohol is the good type of alcohol. It is typically made through the fermentation process using a bacteria (yeast) to consume the sugar and produce alcohol. One of the limitations of this method is that the upper limit of the beverage that is created is 20% alcohol.

Higher percentage drinks are possible by a further distillation process which will separate out the ethanol from the rest of the beverage.

Methanol, or wood alcohol is the bad alcohol which is poisonous. The body breaks methanol down into formaldehyde which affects the optic nerve and will cause blindness and eventually death. The two different alcohol’s are not interchangeable.

There was a small incident in the Czech Republic in September 2012 where a small Czech company that was intentionally selling ethanol beverages which have been diluted with methanol. This did perhaps help with the profits but didn’t help with public health. While the government was trying to get a handle on the source of the poisonous alcohol they instituted a ban. During this time, there was a sign outside of a local bar.

“Sorry no alcohol, only wine and beer”