February 2022 – WorkTales

February 28, 2022December 25, 2021

Lots of calcuim

I personally like milk, not just the chocolate stuff but what comes out of the cow. Sometime back, my wife decided that we should only have 1.8% milk and for as long as my youngest can remember that was what milk tastes like. Well, the brand that we normally purchase was no longer carried by our supermarket so we simply bought another one. The only thing was we made a mistake and bought whole milk, which to me is almost like having dessert in every glass.

My son didn’t feel the same. His opinion was that this new milk tasted too “cowy”. Well, whole milk was a mistake so the next week we still bought this new brand but the normal 1.8% variety. Well, my son didn’t want to drink it because of the carton and his previous bad experience from last week.

I guess in that particular battle of the wills I won as he does have to drink his milk but every time he sees the carton he does give me a comment about the cowy milk.

February 24, 2022December 25, 2021

Bad family

One of the “tricks” I used with my youngest when he got overly upset at something was to generally use a variation on the following theme.

“okay, you might be angry with your brother but you aren’t angry with me”

I always felt that this was one of my most powerful tools and it always worked until yesterday. My little boy is growing up and is now starting to get some of his own ideas.

I tried my patented logic yesterday, but I was told that no he was angry with me. I tried to explain that I wasn’t involved in any disagreements only to be told that when he is angry at mama then he is also angry at me too.

The next day my eldest also managed to get my youngest upset and when I tried to smooth things out I overheard him say “Bad Family”. I didn’t think that the teenage years were here yet, but it looks like they are at least one step closer.

February 21, 2022December 25, 2021

Not quite Issac Neuton

I am not sure how we got onto the topic of math, well big numbers. Somehow I was talking about a trillion and my son was talking about how many billions were in a trillion. Before I could answer he suggested he knew the answer.

His answer – there is 20 billion in a trillion.

I guess I didn’t quite know when to stop so I asked then how many millions were in a billion. I found out that there are only 10.

He is obviously sharp as a tack with your mathematics skills for his age.

February 17, 2022December 25, 2021

Battle of the bands

I think that I made the problem myself. My wife was listening to “Nightwish” which, to be honest, wasn’t really all that bad but that particular album wasn’t exactly my taste. So, in perfectly non-supportive husband style, I was dissing the album and had actually done it in front of my son.

Well, my son might not like the whole album but there are a few songs that he really loves. I am not fussed what music he listens to but when I end up listening to the same album week in and week out then I start to care.

So I grabbed a few of my albums to test them out, I didn’t have any Symphonic metal groups but I did have some good heavy metal albums so that is what I took. He listened to a bit of Queensrysche but no that wasn’t good enough. We had to go shopping so I popped Alice Cooper into the player in the car. Rather than bringing up how good this album was I thought I would wait to see what the boys thought about it. You could have knocked me over with a feather when my other son asked about the album that was playing.

“papa, is this country music?”

February 14, 2022December 25, 2021

I already did that

It is a different world from when I grew up. Back in the day, I simply walked 1/3 of a mile to school and nobody gave it another thought. Today, it may or may not be less safe for small children but the visibility of predators in the world is certainly much higher.

Thus my son, who does walk from mom’s work to his school is actually equipped with a telephone so if he gets into any difficulties he can contact us – plus he is supposed to call us when he gets to school each day. Well, no system is perfect and so when he tried to inform mom that he was at school, she was unable to pick up the phone in time. We do have a backup plan for this situation which is that he should then proceed to call is father or even failing that his aunt or grandmother. It worked!

I got a telephone call from a somewhat annoyed little boy informing me that he tried to call mom but she didn’t pick up. He asked me to call her so she is informed that his is at school. I knew where he was so I thought I had time enough for a cup of coffee. After brewing a cup, I called my wife to hear that she returned his call. She received an earful from him.

My son said “I don’t want to talk with you, I already called papa” and then the two of them hung up. By the time that I called my wife she had already been put into her place by an eight year old. She did take it pretty well all things considered.

This was not the only time that my boy tried to call mom but also his dad and his aunt. In the end, he did reach his grandmother but by then he had left a message on everyone’s phone.

Everyone, each in turn then proceeded to call “mama” with the news that her son was safe at school. Sure her work day had already gotten off to to rocky start but the good news is that our son did follow the plan.

February 10, 2022December 25, 2021

The television star

Some television shows have more educational content and thus may have either smaller or longer documentaries on various topics. The German state of Hessen has their own television channel which has shows as well as mini-documentaries on topics from purchasing flowers to underage drinking.

My wife works in a hospital that is known for it’s studies of alcohol and underage drinkers. It shouldn’t have been too much of a surprise when the television station contacted the hospital about a documentary. They wanted to do a brief on camera interview with a doctor describing the alcohol and its affects on youth. My wife picked the short straw and was rewarded with at least 15 minutes of fame.

My children wanted to see mommy on television so both of the boys, aged six and eight, watched a six minute documentary briefly describing the problem. They were able to take one message away from the show and that was drinking was bad it would kill your brain cells. The message is right but the timing wasn’t so good. Only a week after this show aired a few of her friends come over and have a bit of a girls night. Lots of stories were exchanged, lots of junk food was eaten and generally they all had a good time.

The next morning the day started a bit slower than normal for the adults but not for the boys. When my wife did get up, she was confronted by my youngest as there were two empty wine bottles on the kitchen table.

              “Mama you promised not don't drink too much”

February 7, 2022December 25, 2021

I’m outta here

When I was a child, I did not think I had much attitude. If my youngest is any indication then perhaps I didn’t just have attitude but perhaps I had a lot of attitude. I do vaguely remember a day in first or second grade when I must have gotten upset about something. The younger the child, the less they know about what you can really get away with.

After getting pretty upset I decided that I wasn’t going to stay at school and as luck had it I lived only a few minutes away and could easily walk home. I don’t know how they organized it but they did manage to quickly dispatch another teacher. I guess someone had to quickly “catch that little kid” before he got away.

I wonder what the next few years will bring me with my sons.

February 3, 2022December 25, 2021

We must have order

The unwritten rule in Germany is Ordnung muss sein, which roughly translates to Order is imperative. I guess they teach this rule at a pretty early age in Germany based on my trip to the post office.

I was standing in a line that seemed like it would never move. As luck had it, the process “improved” when the parent of a couple of small children got to the front of the line. The children were free to be themselves. There wasn’t that much to see or do but at the post office there was a series of metal each larger than the last.

One little boy discovered that he could hit it and it would make wonderful banging noises and vibrate slowly into silence. The prospect of standing there listening to this for five to twenty minutes seemed like a punishment until an unexpected little savior showed up – his smaller sister.

She didn’t like all the noise that her brother was making so every time he started making noise she would stop it in its tracks. One making noise wasn’t so much fun but watching the two of them interact wasn’t too bad, especially as the little one was trying to keep the noise level down.